Thursday, March 21st, 2019

Curse You Jason Bay!

May 24, 2010 by  
Filed under Miscellaneous, New Media

Let me start off by saying that I really have nothing against Jason Bay.  From all accounts, Jason is a very likable fellow from our Northern neighbors up in Canada.  I also have nothing against the NY Mets as they continue their careening, sometimes down, sometimes up, always interesting season.  It is what Jason Bay did to me last night in my Fantasy baseball league that has me seething.

I play Fantasy Baseball on MLB.com.  However, I am not in one of those Sabermetric-driven, high-stakes, make-your-picks-every-day type of leagues you may have read about.  Quite the contrary; I am in what you would call a “slacker” league.  

In my league, a computer drafts your team.  No fancy preseason analysis or rankings needed. Your only obligation is, about once a week, make certain none of your computer-selected players went on the DL, check for “hot” players who are Free Agents, and select the roster for the week. To make it even easier, you pick an entire pitching staff, not individual pitchers.  Each league has 12 players and you play a single opponent for an entire week.  Whoever racks up the most points, wins a point for that week.

After two years of shared managerial duties with my son, he declared this season that he wanted to manage his own team.  The way that MLB.com operates, he and I could not be in the same league.  However, as luck would have it, the computer slotted us in the same position in two, parallel leagues and so we both started the year with the same roster of players.  For the 2010 season, it was game on!  mano-y-mano, or as Kung Fu might say, Grasshopper vs. Blind Master.

To date, the Milford Baseball Club I manage has a moribund 2-4 record even though we have more total points of anyone in the 12-person league.  You might say that we are classic underachievers.  To right this ship, however, I re-tooled my team expecting a strong week.  I replaced the injured Jorge Posada with cross-town rival catcher, Rod Barajas and my lineup resembled the ’27 Yankees.  Also trending in my favor was the fact that my opponent was 0-6 and appeared not to be making weekly adjustments.  For all I know, this person hasn’t logged in since the season began.

True to form, my team opened up a commanding lead coming into the weekend.  However, with my player Austin Jackson taking one off his dome and my opponent’s player Ben Zobrist coming to life for the first time all season, things began to tighten up.

It all came down to Sunday night’s game.  I still had a 6 point lead and had two players–Rod Barajas and David Wright still able to contribute while the heretofore comatose Jason Bay was the only player left standing for my winless opponent.  This was the same Jason Bay, with one homer before last night, that seemed to have lost his power stick, like many others when playing at Citi Field.  A win for the good guys seemed like a lock.

Well, you know the rest.  Jason hit two bombs and my team lost 271-269.  Truly snatching defeat from the jaws of victory; a loss of historic proportions–a loss to an absentee opponent!

So not only did Jason Bay, and his newly-found home run power, ruin my team’s week, my son’s team (with their rookie, inexperienced, neophyte manager) is now 4-3, two full games ahead of me based solely on his managerial aptitude compared to mine.   

Grasshopper has finally snatched the pebble from the Blind Master Po’s hand.

Guess what?  If there’s a new watch to see who is the next manager to be fired, it is no longer for Jerry Manuel.  It’s for me.

Curse you Jason Bay and you too Grasshopper!

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